Funny quotes

Cash machines at Citi bank
"Please dip your card"
"Wait we are working on it"

Taxi
"Hello Passage, welcome to take my taxi"

How you say it

This past week started 3 weeks of the Shanghai International Literary Festival. The weather has been absolutely perfect for the event, pouring rain and cold. It is at M-on the Bund which looks over the river and the high rise towers across the water. So far I have seen Norwegian journalist Åsne Seierstad who has stories of war on Chechnya, Kabul, and Iraq. She spoke of her experience in Russia as a foreign student during University and one day was introduced as a reporter and that is what got her writing and researching stories of children of war. David Grossman started his lecture reading a passage in Hebrew from one of his books, and then later spoke of his own experiences politically, as a writer and as an Israeli trying to understand both sides of the conflict. On Wednesday evening myself and a colleague faced Shanghai traffic and made our way down to hear two Scandinavian poets read avant-garde poetry with the back drops of the skyscrapers with electronic adverts and pink rain and designs on them. It was an interesting juxtaposition to Sjon talking about fox hunters in Iceland writing the most Icelandic book for the 300 000 readers in Iceland. Also, for Lars Bukdahl to read about his different alphabets address concerns of what he says his only reader… himself. This afternoon I just got out of a session on Gandhi and the impact on the world and continued impact. Ramachandra Guha started quoting Einstein, on his 131st birthday that gave homage to Gandhi for his political stance and peaceful demonstrations. David Grossman’s structure of his sentences and phraseology put interesting twist and visuals to his stories and thoughts. My personal favorite was “that was too many quantities of time”.
All of the sessions I have enjoyed what the authors said and the comments brought new light to their work as well as issues around their writing as well as how they said it. I heard pieces of places I have been and people that have been important to me in the reflection of their mother tongues onto English. Åsne delivered some of Oslo to me, while Lars Bukdahl reminded me of Danish friends while reading his Jensen alphabet from his book on alphabets (it is funnier than you can imagine), and Ramachandra Guha’s head bob brought me flavors of India and dear friends that have come and gone from there.

Basement Speed dating

Between sessions at the literary festival I went to a café in the basement of M-on the Bund for a tea and get some work done. It looked as if there was an organized event but they let me sit down at an open table. I noticed that all the women were on side of long tables and men on the other. I ordered my tea and got to work.
The two men with microphones instructed the groups to get snacks. Then people started to be called to the front where three men sat in chairs with women volunteers behind them putting crackers on their foreheads that they had to get to their mouth without using their hands. In a way it reminded me of young life or camp and games we play with secondary students. I had no idea what was happening and tried to just continue working. Then someone sat down at my table quickly smiled looked at the men trying ever so hard to get the cracker to their mouth by contorting their faces, I asked what was going on …..speed dating!!!
As a single I have never been to speed dating and here I am stumbling upon it in Shanghai. I guess this is an alternative for these Chinese mid 20s early 30s, rather than having their parents sit in People’s square on a Sunday with their information written on papers hanging from clotheslines this group participated in speed dating to find a match. After the food on face event, the men got up and systematically changed tables. The fella that was at my table joined the others and no one replaced him at my table…. I never get mistaken for a local. I continued to watch the body language of the group: some people were not talking to the opposite sex or anyone for that matter, guys were talking to girls that were not their “designated” date, wing-men situations occurred to help out their neighbors; others went for more snacks possibly wishing they were not at the end of the table and could have more people to pull from.
I wonder if any of them will recount the story to their friends or kids of how they met at speed dating in a basement in Shanghai?
“When did you know you were for each other?”
“I knew by the expression that he was making that he was the one for me. I think he knew too, his eyes got teary and soft and it was not from the crumbs”.
I was writing this as I was sitting there and when I packed up my computer one of the male participants came up to me and started chatting. … haha

At close range

Tonight is the lantern festival, the 15th day of the New Lunar Year and the first full moon of the New Year. The Chinese gather with their families for a meal, to put out lanterns and set off an amazing amount of fireworks. We went down to Tai Kang Lu for a walk around, dinner and in hopes of seeing the fullest moon for the past 53 some years, by 10%. We were only able to catch glimpses of the moon during the taxi ride. Throughout dinner there was a constant stream of fireworks surrounding us. All seemingly rather low and close to buildings. On the way home on Yan’an elevated road we could see displays throughout of the city.
From inside my flat I would easily mistake the sounds as an air raid. In southern China unfortunately it was the case in a village where 21 people died from firework blasts at a family party. Many people were hospitalized after a group of people set off fireworks in the center.
It is still baffling to me to see adults about 5 meters away with their children setting off a box of fireworks under power lines. People consistently do this along each street, so much so that the silence can be more deafening than the booms. With the light up of the sky with fireworks the smoke has covered the brightness of the first full moon.

In Chinese

Last Saturday after rugby practice I took the metro home and then had to catch a cab home. It was raining which means it is very difficult to get a cab in Shanghai. I have waited up to an hour for a cab in the rain before...not fun. I got out onto the street and a motorbike taxi stops. I said no because I do not like taking them do to the craziness of driving around here. He had a helmet and a poncho and I did not see a free cab and the line up on the street was long. Plus I was rather cold from getting rained on during practice. I thought that we agreed on a price for the trip. I said "Ba" and did the hand signal for 8 and then we were off.
At first I was amazed that I took one, another day of firsts. The ride home I was thinking over all the things that I have grown accustomed to since living in Shanghai, what is normal and things that I feel comfortable doing: Eating street food, crossing the crazy streets, riding in cars that drive against traffic and not motorbike taxis.... The motorbike-taxi was a safe driver and sang along to the sound of the engine.
I was able to direct him to my building. I got off and was going to give him 8 RMB (about 1.20 USD) and he started asking for 30 RMB. That I knew was a ripe off, a taxi would have cost about 17rmb in traffic... so I said no and we started arguing. I spoke English, now and again throwing in a "Taiguole" meaning too expensive. He just went off in Chinese and I started walking away. I said I would give 13. One of the guards that I greet saw that I was in an argument and came over to help. I am not sure what was said. I ended up paying 15 rmb, which still upset me. As the guy drove away I said "boooo" to him. I figured he could understand that much. After the motorbike taxi was away, the guard proceeded to give me advice and a small lecture. It was all in Chinese, but I think he was telling me how easy it is for them to charge more and what I need to be aware of. I thanked him and gave a few "You are right" looks and nods.
Amazing how much you really can communicate without completely understanding. Tomorrow I have my Chinese lessons, I think I will start out with, "I will only pay_____".

Daily Chores

A commonality I see of countries are chores, no matter where in the world people keep their houses in some type of order, though the definition of order might be different depending on the person and culture. The ways about keeping the order, the chores are different. In Norway I cleaned the floors with a squidgy, in Ghana the dirt in front of the huts had to be sweep each morning with twigs, in Germany the hard wood floors had to be waxed on a regular basis and in China… I have an Aiyi, a house cleaner ☺. I feel spoiled knowing that twice a week someone will put my stuff away, fold my clothes and clean the flat. Though it is common to have a house cleaner there are still chores that have to be done.
Yesterday, as I was entering my building there was a resident lining up fireworks on the window seal of the entryway. There have been few days since I have been in Shanghai that I have not seen or heard fireworks in my neighborhood. Since gunpowder was invented in China and the first fireworks were done with bamboo the tradition has stuck. There are many occasions for fireworks, weddings, sporting events, celebrations and the coming Chinese New Year. This particular evening I greeted my neighbor and I commented on his fireworks. He responded in English, saying that he had to set them off, he was not sure why but his wife told him that he must set these fireworks off and that was his chore. I am not sure how that chore compares for taking out the trash, cleaning the bathroom or doing the laundry but it was his task for the evening. As I was putting away my shopping I could hear and see his obedience rather close to the building as usual.

Ni Hao

“Ni Hao, Ni Hao” a phrase that connects me to people. There is a small room/box where the guards for my complex sit. Each day I greet them with a perky “Ni Hao, Ni Hao” and sometimes a “zài jiàn” as I walk away. There are about 5 different guards, all of them will say hello to me, however, there is one smiley guard and if he sees me coming, he starts giggling anticipating my “Ni Hao”, and says it along with me matching my tone. I am taking Chinese lessons each week but still figure I communicate more and share more with the guards through my “Ni Hao” and their welcoming giggles.