Funny quotes

Cash machines at Citi bank
"Please dip your card"
"Wait we are working on it"

Taxi
"Hello Passage, welcome to take my taxi"

How you say it

This past week started 3 weeks of the Shanghai International Literary Festival. The weather has been absolutely perfect for the event, pouring rain and cold. It is at M-on the Bund which looks over the river and the high rise towers across the water. So far I have seen Norwegian journalist Åsne Seierstad who has stories of war on Chechnya, Kabul, and Iraq. She spoke of her experience in Russia as a foreign student during University and one day was introduced as a reporter and that is what got her writing and researching stories of children of war. David Grossman started his lecture reading a passage in Hebrew from one of his books, and then later spoke of his own experiences politically, as a writer and as an Israeli trying to understand both sides of the conflict. On Wednesday evening myself and a colleague faced Shanghai traffic and made our way down to hear two Scandinavian poets read avant-garde poetry with the back drops of the skyscrapers with electronic adverts and pink rain and designs on them. It was an interesting juxtaposition to Sjon talking about fox hunters in Iceland writing the most Icelandic book for the 300 000 readers in Iceland. Also, for Lars Bukdahl to read about his different alphabets address concerns of what he says his only reader… himself. This afternoon I just got out of a session on Gandhi and the impact on the world and continued impact. Ramachandra Guha started quoting Einstein, on his 131st birthday that gave homage to Gandhi for his political stance and peaceful demonstrations. David Grossman’s structure of his sentences and phraseology put interesting twist and visuals to his stories and thoughts. My personal favorite was “that was too many quantities of time”.
All of the sessions I have enjoyed what the authors said and the comments brought new light to their work as well as issues around their writing as well as how they said it. I heard pieces of places I have been and people that have been important to me in the reflection of their mother tongues onto English. Åsne delivered some of Oslo to me, while Lars Bukdahl reminded me of Danish friends while reading his Jensen alphabet from his book on alphabets (it is funnier than you can imagine), and Ramachandra Guha’s head bob brought me flavors of India and dear friends that have come and gone from there.

Basement Speed dating

Between sessions at the literary festival I went to a café in the basement of M-on the Bund for a tea and get some work done. It looked as if there was an organized event but they let me sit down at an open table. I noticed that all the women were on side of long tables and men on the other. I ordered my tea and got to work.
The two men with microphones instructed the groups to get snacks. Then people started to be called to the front where three men sat in chairs with women volunteers behind them putting crackers on their foreheads that they had to get to their mouth without using their hands. In a way it reminded me of young life or camp and games we play with secondary students. I had no idea what was happening and tried to just continue working. Then someone sat down at my table quickly smiled looked at the men trying ever so hard to get the cracker to their mouth by contorting their faces, I asked what was going on …..speed dating!!!
As a single I have never been to speed dating and here I am stumbling upon it in Shanghai. I guess this is an alternative for these Chinese mid 20s early 30s, rather than having their parents sit in People’s square on a Sunday with their information written on papers hanging from clotheslines this group participated in speed dating to find a match. After the food on face event, the men got up and systematically changed tables. The fella that was at my table joined the others and no one replaced him at my table…. I never get mistaken for a local. I continued to watch the body language of the group: some people were not talking to the opposite sex or anyone for that matter, guys were talking to girls that were not their “designated” date, wing-men situations occurred to help out their neighbors; others went for more snacks possibly wishing they were not at the end of the table and could have more people to pull from.
I wonder if any of them will recount the story to their friends or kids of how they met at speed dating in a basement in Shanghai?
“When did you know you were for each other?”
“I knew by the expression that he was making that he was the one for me. I think he knew too, his eyes got teary and soft and it was not from the crumbs”.
I was writing this as I was sitting there and when I packed up my computer one of the male participants came up to me and started chatting. … haha