Monday, August 15, 2011

Two Drag Queens walk into a bar…

Warning Mom, do not show this post to Grandma

My last week in New York I got a recommendation from a friend to go to Drag Queen Bingo at the Bowery Poetry Club. He said that he has been multiple times and is a great cheap evening with bingo cards for $2 and happy hour drinks. We were advised to get there early and be careful during the Challenge Round as it normally involves the prize of two free drinks to the winners and the opportunity, or job of dancing or parading on stage naked with one prop.

It did not take much convincing to get my dear friend Erika to join me. I got there early and secured us front row seating so we could clearly see all the action. Erika arrived after the first act started, Taylor Mead. Taylor Mead is an 87-year-old icon in SoHo. He has been featured in work my Andy Warhol and the short film Coffee and Cigarettes. I was not sure what to expect when one of the bar tenders helped him on to the stage and gave him his tape deck. He had a bag with him with drawing that looked like a child’s interpretation of fairly tale characters. He described one of the characters as having tried to draw a horse it came out looking like a fox. So much of his act was a stream of things that started part way through and stopped some where before. That said it was an interesting performance to see. He read some poetry and used his tape deck/radio for effects. While reading he would pause to hold the tape deck near the microphone and move the tape deck in and out to create fades. It was a little comical that the tape deck was something that he seemingly used before but still was not sure how to start and stop the tape inside and often would turn down the volume and was thrilled when he found pause. The last poem was rather explicit. I am putting in the link to a performance of his as I think I can not fully describe how you feel when you hear an 87 year old man start a poem with the line “I wanted to lick his @$$____”.(this is a link to his performance... warning about the content)

Taylor Mead was escorted off stage and then Bingo got set up, complete with bingo hamster wheel for all the bingo balls and shinny pink tablecloth. Hosted by Drag Queen Linda Simpson and Murray Hill with a non-Drag Queen assistant that could do no right. Linda’s dry sense of humor and tone of voice was hysterical. She made giving away two fake boobies a ripe roar riot of a time. The prizes for each round were nothing that you buy with a straight face or sober but better than what I see sold on the streets of Shanghai that I think will only take up land fill space.

Prize 1: A monkey that lights ups while it’s arms propel it forward on the floor. During the demonstration of the prize the hosts tried to do a monkey call, and I must say failed miserably. Since I am a natural at monkey calls I chimed in, which was a hit. I was referred to monkey girl the rest of the evening… on another note I did not have a summer fling while in NYC, perhaps this type of behavior explains that a little more in retrospect.

Prize 2: Spider man bath mat. Need I say more?

Prize 3: The Friendship prize: plastic boobies. The rules for this round was that the winner had to give the prize to someone they did not know to promote friendships. Two girls tied that round and picked two males to receive the boobies (one boob each).

Prize 4: 3D holograms art of a duck and horses….

Prize 5: Challenge round, 2 drinks from the bar and a paper plate to cover your bits when walking around naked.

Prize 6: Place mats of an orange juicer with matching coasters

Final Round: Cash $169 the money from the bingo card purchases.

The only thing disappointing about the evening was that I found out about it all the last week I was in the city. Now I will be counting down the Mondays til I am back in NYC for some B-I-N-G-O!


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